


Revenge Plan

by eltrut07



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Falling In Love, First Meetings, Further Revenge Attempts, Humor, Love Confessions, M/M, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Redemption, Strange Revenge Plots, Strangers to Lovers, Vandalism, humorous misunderstanding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-22 14:30:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6082944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eltrut07/pseuds/eltrut07
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur blinked, closed his eyes and counted to five. But when he opened his eyes, the strange man was still standing on his car, with his jeans undone, no underwear on, and holding his....</p>
<p>Or the one where Arthur meets Merlin for the first time while he is trying to pee on Arthur's car in the name of revenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warning- this is un-betaed. And while there are discussions of water sports if that is not your thing, don't worry there is no actual water sports. 
> 
> This maybe slightly crack-y but it popped in my head and I decided to bang it out and share it. Hope you enjoy.

Arthur blinked slowly, then closed his eyes, counted to five and opened them. But, the image was still the same. 

He stared dumbfounded, for longer than he probably should have, although he doubted it could be held against him, he did just get back from working all day and then an absurdly long dinner with his sister. Which, normally even a five minute interaction with Morgana always left Arthur feeling wrong-footed, as if he had just been manipulated into doing something, even if he wasn’t sure what it was yet. 

Eventually he did shake himself out of it, enough to yell at the man currently standing on the top of Arthur’s car. 

“Oi! Get off my car!” Okay, so it wasn’t super eloquent, but it did get the point across. The man spun in his direction, his hands wind milling momentarily before he found his balance and stood up straight. 

For a moment they just stared at each other. Arthur was trying not to stare at the man’s open pants, and at the fact that he was not wearing any underwear, or that his dick was in his hand. While normally such a situation would pike Arthur’s sexual interest, it had a slightly cooling effect when it was taking place on the hood of his rather expensive vehicle. 

“This isn’t your car.” The man said, his tone annoyed, as if Arthur was the one being thick and standing on top of a car that wasn’t his. 

Arthur took a moment to look at the car, confirming that it was in fact his red BMW. It was. Arthur looked back at the man, and thought that maybe he should be disturbed that he had not put his dick back in his pants yet, and that Arthur hadn’t called the police yet. 

“Yes it is.” He said simply, he couldn’t even get over his shock to sound angry or threatening. He was honestly two seconds from scratching his head and just walking in to his flat, ignoring this whole turn of events. 

But the man clearly decided that Arthur would not be able to escape this situation yet because he rolled his eyes and pointed at him (with the hand not currently holding his dick). 

“You are not Mordred.” The man said, slowly, again, as if he really thought Arthur was an idiot. 

“No. But that-“ Arthur said, pointing to the car, “is my car.” 

“Look. I don’t know what game you are playing at, but-“

Arthur scoffed- “what game I am playing at?” he asked incredulously, “you are the one standing on my car with your trousers down and your-your-“

“BUT-“ the man said, talking over Arthur, “Mordred brags about his bloody red “beamer” all the time, and I have seen him drive it, this very vehicle, same plate and everything.” 

Arthur nearly growled. The man was infuriating, not only would he not listen to Arthur but he was still holding his dick, which was more than a bit distracting, especially considering that Arthur rather liked dicks. 

“Right. Mordred has driven this car before because-“

“AHA! So you admit it!” The man crowed triumphantly, his body, penis and all, bouncing happily. “This is Mordred’s car, and I shall take my revenge on it and him!” 

“Oi!” Arthur shouted again, taking a step closer to the deranged man. “I admit that Mordred has driven this car because he is my cousin and I have let him borrow it!” Not that Arthur either wanted to let him borrow it, or had any say in the matter really. It was mostly because Morgana had a soft spot for Mordred since his parents abandoned him when he was young, just like Morgana’s mother did, and since Uther had taken both of them in under his wing they developed a close bond. 

In actuality Mordred was like a younger brother, one that didn’t actually talk back or question Morgana’s decisions like Arthur did, and thus, she coddled Mordred and mostly treated Arthur with thinly veiled disdain. And somehow, Arthur tended to foot the bill, or in this case, lend Mordred his car after he complained to Morgana that he had no mode of transportation for his “hot date.” 

“Pfft.” The man waved his empty hand at Arthur and angled slightly away, so that instead of facing Arthur, he was facing his windshield. “Now, unless you are into water sports, I’d suggest you turn away while I extract my revenge.” 

And before Arthur could leap into action, the man began to urinate….all over Arthur’s windshield. 

Arthur blinked, then closed his eyes, counted to ten this time, because clearly five hadn’t worked, and then opened them. 

The man was still peeing. 

On Arthur’s windshield. 

Arthur couldn’t stop the odd, strangled noise that came out of his throat. The man slowly looked over him, still peeing, and really- what had this man done before coming here- drank a gallon of water?

“I didn’t peg you as a watersports type bloke. But hey- freaks come out at night right?” 

“Clearly.” Arthur bit out, not amused. He finally shook himself out of it, as did the man as he finished up and began tucking himself into his jeans. 

Arthur’s eyebrow began to twitch as he watched the man slowly button up his jeans and then zipper them closed, all while smiling triumphantly at the urine stained windshield. 

For the first time in months, or really since Arthur was last stuck in London traffic, he questioned why he even owned a car. Clearly it was not worth it. There was nothing that his car did for him that would make this moment okay. He couldn’t say to someone, oh yeah having a car in London is worth it, minus the traffic, and the occasional lunatic pissing on your windshield, its great. 

In fact he much preferred taking the tube or walking. Maybe this was karma for not driving his car more. A type of, if you don’t use it, you lose it, scenario. 

Finally, it was as if someone electrocuted Arthur into action and he began stalking to his car. The man was distracted, still reveling in his insane victory and completely ignoring Arthur, who was a foot away from his car, which now smelled like urine, wonderful. 

“Get. Off. My. Car.” Arthur growled loudly, inadvertently scaring the man, whose eyes widened impossibly large, and shockingly blue, not that Arthur was paying attention to anything like the man’s looks. Not when said man’s urine was on Arthur’s windshield. 

Of course- the man, who might have been under the influence of something, Arthur wouldn’t have been surprised, in fact he would have been more surprised if the man wasn’t on some type of mind-altering inebriant- lost his balance and fell to the side towards Arthur. 

He caught the man, grunting as he had to bend his knees to not fall to the ground himself. Once he righted himself he practically threw the man off of him, which caused the man to stumble slightly but otherwise he was able to straighten up and turn to Arthur, a smile on his face. 

“Thanks Mate.” 

Arthur’s mouth dropped open in shock. The man’s smile fell off his face and he shrugged. “Or not. Anyway, I should be going, my job here is done. Thanks for the company and sorry your cousin is a twat.”

Arthur let the man turn and walk one step before he grabbed his arm and yanked him back towards him. He ignored the man’s indignant shout of alarm at being grabbed and pushed him in to the side of his car, near the front of the hood and graciously not against the side where the urine was now dripping. 

“You are not leaving until you have handcuffs around your scrawny delinquent wrists.” 

The man narrowed his eyes, looking down at his wrist, which was fully encased by Arthur’s hand. “I am not scrawny. I also didn’t realize you were this kinky, but hey, if your place is nearby I am not going to turn you down. I am still feeling the buzz from my revenge plan so-“ 

Arthur resisted the urge to shake the man…okay maybe he shook him slightly. “I will not be the one putting handcuffs on you, you git! I am calling the Met!” 

Finally the man paused, looking confused for the first time since Arthur showed up. Arthur couldn’t deny the slight satisfaction he got from turning the tables. 

“Why?” the man asked, brows furrowed. 

Arthur felt a bark of laughter escape him and he shook his head, this man was an idiot. A raving idiot. Which Arthur told him out loud, twice, loudly. 

“Why am I an idiot?” the man asked, cocking his head to the side like a puppy. A puppy that just ate Arthur’s favorite pair of shoes…or rather peed on his favorite shoes. 

“You just…urinated on my bloody windshield! And you are asking me why you are an idiot?” 

The man blinked and looked behind him, glancing at the car again. “This is the car I saw Mordred drive and he brags all the time about-“

“That is because Mordred is a foolish little whelp who likes to think he has a right to anything that I own because my harpy of a sister hands him whatever he likes on a silver platter.” Arthur grit out quickly, not thinking about what he was saying, only slightly disarmed by the intense blue of the eyes in front of him, and the heat emanating from where his hand was clasped around the man’s wrist. And the surreal situation- that was the most distracting, right. 

The man blinked, a little more slowly this time, and Arthur could see him start to listen to what he was saying. “So. What you are saying is that Mordred doesn’t actually own this car….you do?” the man asked, his voice growing higher in pitch at the end of his question, so it was practically a squeak. 

“Yes.” The man’s eyes widened and he looked almost scared as he glanced quickly down to his wrist. 

“Um. So.” The man laughed nervously, his other hand scratching at the back of his neck. “Funny story- you see….my friend, Freya, she well, she was dating Mordred, who spoiler alert ends up being a total twat-“ Arthur’s eyebrows lifted up, not in surprise that Mordred was a twat, but that the man would be so brazen as to tell him that again right after he explained that Mordred is his cousin. 

The man must have realized his mistake because he grimaced. “I would apologize, but he is, no offense to you of course. Except well, I guess I did offend because, well….” He waived his hand in the direction of the windshield, “that.” 

“Let me see if I am understanding you, not that I think that anyone can because you seem to be delusional and all around mental,” The man’s eyes narrowed and he opened his mouth to defend himself but Arthur held up a hand. “But, apparently Mordred offended your friend- so you decided, as a rational human being, to urinate on what you thought was his, but is actually my, windshield?” 

“Would you stop saying urinate?” the man asked, scowling. Arthur couldn’t believe the audacity of the request and snorted, most unbecomingly. 

“Oh I am sorry, does urinate offend you? Because it sure as hell offends me!” 

“Good then stop saying it you prat!”

“I wouldn’t have to say it at all if you didn’t just urinate on my windshield like a wild animal!” 

“How many wild animals do you know that pee on windshields?” 

Arthur paused, taking a moment to appreciate the absurdity of this conversation. He blinked, closed his eyes and counted to fifteen this time, before slowly opening them. Of course, when he opened them he found his gaze locked on the man’s enticing blue eyes. Which did nothing to help Arthur in this situation. 

He sighed and took a step back, releasing the man’s wrist and taking another step back to get more distance between them. 

The man took a cautious step to the side, sticking his hands in his pockets and rocking on his feet. “So….sorry for….ya know…” the man waived his wrist, and his eyes, as if he did something innocent which happened everyday, like accidently stumbling into something or grabbing for the same item at the same time and getting awkward hand contact. But no- this was not awkward hand contact, this was pee on Arthur’s rather expensive vehicle. 

Which was something so ridiculous that he decided that he needed to sleep immediately and deal with this bizarre situation tomorrow….or next week…or never. 

Arthur cleared his throat and shook his head, looking away from the man and glaring at the windshield for a moment before turning around. 

He heard the man splutter behind him, clearly unprepared for Arthur to just walk away, but quite frankly he did not care. He just needed to get away before he said something rude or did something idiotic, like grabbing the man by his stupid scarf and smashing his lips to the man’s unfairly pouty lips. 

And really that type of thought was exactly why Arthur needed to get in his flat because kissing a man who just urinated on one’s car was not rational behavior, and Arthur was obviously losing it. No matter how good-looking said urinating lunatic might be. Or how…adorable…he looked while flailing around in an attempt to apologize.

Or how good he felt in Arthur’s arms. 

Arthur sped up, afraid that the man’s insanity might actually be contagious, but really Arthur just needed sleep, he was drained. 

“I really am sorry!” the man shouted after him, but Arthur was already walking up the steps to his flat, keys in hand ready to forget this ever happened. 

**

And since the universe decided to be cruel to him, an odd noise sounded throughout Arthur’s flat and he blinked, staring sleepily up at the ceiling, trying to place the sound. It almost sounded like a waterfall, or someone pouring water out on the street. 

Arthur stretched, groaning as he noticed that his alarm was set to go off in fifteen minutes anyway. He rolled out of bed and walked out of his bedroom through the flat to get to the front windows so he could see what was going on. 

He absently scratched his bare chest as he pulled back the curtain and surveyed the street. 

He paused when he saw the source of the loud noise, and then he blinked, closed his eyes for twenty seconds and then slowly opened them. 

Unfortunately it still did not work, and he was met with the sight of a rather fetching man standing next to a fire hydrant, holding an oversized wrench-type tool. Next to him was the man from the night before, he was drenched, and flailing around like a moron as the fetching man laughed. 

The fire hydrant was gushing water, flooding the street and soaking the nearby cars. One of which was Arthur’s. 

He let the curtain close. He had two options. He could just pretend he never saw this, go get ready for his day, and pretend that last night never happened. Or, he could go outside and inspect the damage to his car and ensure that if the man did not adequately clean the mess on Arthur’s car that he paid for a professional to do so. 

And because Arthur was a Pendragon and they were known for their stubborn and confident ways, Arthur found himself slipping on his trainers and walking out of his flat, down the stairs, and across the street. 

Now that he was armed with a decent night’s sleep he was prepared to speak with the man from the previous night, without any thoughts of his blue eyes or warm, lean, attractive body to distract him. Clearly. 

The fetching man noticed him first, looking him up and down before winking and nodding at him. “Hey Princess.” He said, smirking as he lifted the wrench-type tool up, leaning it against his shoulder. 

The man spun around in his direction, looking sheepish and holding his hands up immediately. “I swear I didn’t pull my penis out this time!”

The fetching man raised his eyebrows and looked between the two of them. “Oh wow Merlin, you definitely left out some details when you told me this story.” 

The man, Merlin, turned pink and shot the fetching man a glare. “Yes, Gwaine, thanks for that. Now maybe you could make yourself useful and fix this?” Merlin pointed to the hydrant which was still shooting out gallons of water. 

Merlin turned to Arthur, attempting to grin but actually grimacing. “I uhh…yeah. I wanted to make it up to you…since I kind of….”

“Urinated on my car for no reason?” Arthur offered. Merlin glared. 

“A- we talked about that word and B- I explained my reasoning. Which was valid.”

“Valid for a complete idiot.”

“ugh! You are insufferable!”

“I am insufferable? You are the one who URINATED on MY CAR!” Arthur shouted, the anger and disbelief that he was able to keep in last night exploded out of him and Merlin looked taken aback for a moment. 

“It was an accident.” He muttered. Arthur pursed his lips but ultimately let it go, he didn’t fail to notice the soap bucket and suds on the pavement beside his car. Clearly Merlin had washed it down in the time it took Arthur to get out of bed, realize what was going on, and walk outside. 

Which he appreciated. But then again, Merlin wouldn’t have had to go through the trouble of washing his car, if he had kept his urine to himself. Which he told to him. Twice. 

“Okay! I am sorry! How many times do I have to say it?” Merlin eventually shouted, throwing his hands up in the air. The movement made his wet t-shirt, which was already tight on his body from being soaking wet, pull even tighter against his lean frame. 

Arthur involuntarily licked his lips, and Merlin must have caught it because he licked his own a second later. Something that Arthur’s dick paid attention to, if the little twitch of interest it gave was any indication. 

Merlin cocked his head to the side, this time looking like a puppy after its first bath, and opened his mouth, to say something either stupid or, well probably stupid, but the sound of the water stopped and distracted them. 

The fetching man was tightening something on the hydrant and then screwed a cap on to it. “There. All good.” Merlin shot him a smile and Arthur found himself irrationally irritated at the expression. Which was ridiculous, because Arthur didn’t know Merlin as anyone other than the type of person who peed on random cars in the middle of the night pursuant to some hair-brained revenge scheme. There was zero reason for him to get irritated that Merlin was smiling at some man. 

“Thanks Gwaine.” Gwaine shrugged, picking up his tool and grinning at Merlin. 

“The amount of times you have saved my arse, please, this is nothing.” A loud series of beeps sounded from a radio attached to Gwaine’s jeans. A static voice came over the radio, calling out mostly gibberish, filled with some numbers here and there. Arthur himself was unable to decipher it but Gwaine simply nodded and shot Merlin an apologetic look. 

“You can find your way back to your flat right- I have to go, duty calls.” Merlin nodded and waved the man off, and if Arthur was slightly thrilled that they did not give each other a goodbye kiss or hug, well that was for him to keep to himself, to the grave. 

He was not about to admit that he was getting jealous over a man that centered his revenge plans on urinating on vehicles. 

Once Gwaine left Merlin and Arthur stood awkwardly on the sidewalk, Merlin rocking on his heels, and Arthur standing straight, hands on his hips. 

Eventually he noticed that Merlin was shivering ever so slightly and realized that his wet clothes were probably beyond uncomfortable. Arthur sighed, knowing that he should invite Merlin in to dry off. 

“Well then, come in before you catch pneumonia and die.” 

“That escalated quickly.” Merlin shot back, but followed Arthur into his apartment nonetheless, shooting a glance to the soap bucket but shrugging and leaving it outside.

Arthur quickly shot an e-mail to his assistant, letting her know that he would not be available until noon, but that it was likely that he would be working from home today, if at all. 

Sometimes, it was good to be the boss. 

Not that he was the boss, Morgana was actually his boss, and then Uther was her boss. But still, it felt good to make his own hours when he needed to. 

Arthur gave Merlin a pair of his sweatpants and an old football jersey of his and put his wet clothes in the tiny dryer next to the kitchen while Merlin got comfortable on Arthur’s couch. Or more like, stood awkwardly, still rocking on the balls of his feet as he glanced around Arthur’s living room, trying to absorb all of the information about Arthur that he could. 

Once Arthur was done with the dryer he walked into the living room and just stared at Merlin…in a totally not creepy way. He hoped. 

“So…” Merlin stared, biting his lip and shrugging. “Here we are.” 

Arthur snorted and leaned against the arm of his favorite leather-reading chair. Not many people knew, but Arthur quite enjoyed sitting in front of the fire simply to relax and read a book. He could do it for hours at a time, when his schedule permitted it. 

He glanced at Merlin, and imagined his lean body stretched out on the rug in front of the fireplace. His skin would look ravishing in the firelight. And Arthur imagined it would look even better with the slight flush from being so close to the flame, his skin warm to the touch. 

Merlin cleared his throat and Arthur quickly looked up, realizing once he saw Merlin’s shit eating grin that he had been caught. 

“So….want me to pull my dick out?” Merlin asked cockily, winking at Arthur. 

And for once, Arthur didn’t care if he was basically misinterpreting this whole situation wrong and Merlin was straight and just having a go at Arthur’s expense, or if he genuinely had no idea what he was doing to Arthur. Either way, Arthur ignored all of the possibilities other than the fact that Merlin wanted Arthur to want him to pull his dick out. 

“As long as you don’t urinate anywhere but the toilet.” Arthur said seriously. 

Merlin barked out a surprised laugh, and shook his head. “I don’t even care if I will never live that down, as long as you-“

Arthur didn’t let him finish, he stalked forward, grabbing Merlin by the waist and brought their mouths together, practically groaning as Merlin’s plush lips met his. Arthur had kissed his fair share of people, but he could genuinely say that he had never kissed a mouth quite so soft and kissable in his life. 

He imagined that he could get quite used to kissing Merlin. And he didn’t mean that he would get bored of it. In fact he wouldn’t be surprised if kissing Merlin was something that Arthur never grew bored of. Which was slightly alarming to think of, considering Arthur had known Merlin for all of ten hours, and he certainly did not give a good first impression. 

They eventually broke off when Arthur’s arm grew tired from slightly dipping Merlin, which was necessary since the man had a slight height advantage over Arthur. And even though Arthur had never dated anyone taller than him, and would have never considered such thing a turn on, he could admit it was doing all kinds of things for him now. 

“Mmm. That. As long as you do that, you can mock me for my slight error anytime.” 

Arthur rolled his eyes and then kissed across Merlin’s jaw and down the right side of his neck. He pulled away briefly, prepared to remind Merlin that urinating on someone’s windshield was not a slight error but an egregious lapse of judgment, but Merlin sufficiently distracted him when he pulled him in for another kiss. 

“I seem to remember you saying you were going to pull out your dick.” Arthur said once they pulled apart again. Merlin’s breath hitched and he smiled at Arthur. 

“Hmmm didn’t get enough of it last night?” 

“I was a little preoccupied by the madman holding said dick and using it to defile my poor car.”

Merlin laughed and shook his head but instead of responding he simply pushed down the sweatpants, and Arthur thanked himself for letting Merlin borrow clothes that were easy to get in and out of. 

“Now I think its time I defile you.” Merlin said, grabbing hold of his dick and giving it a slow stroke. Arthur licked his lips, entranced by the sight as Merlin walked forward and backed Arthur up against the wall next to the fireplace. 

But then Merlin’s words sank in, as did their bizarre conversation from the night before and Arthur paused, holding a hand out against Merlin’s chest and stopping him from coming closer. 

“Wha-“

“I don’t actually like watersports. I mean I have my kinks of course, and there’s nothing wrong with yours, but I am not into watersports.” Arthur spoke quickly, just incase Merlin was already about to….Arthur knew how difficult it was to stop once it started. 

For a moment it was silent and Arthur held his breath, afraid that this might be a deal breaker for the strange, yet entertaining and oddly gorgeous Merlin. Arthur blinked, closed his eyes and counted to three before he heard Merlin let out some sound that was a mixture between a ragged breath and a laugh. 

“Oh you cabbagehead. I am not into watersports. I just wanted to get back at Mordred for being an utter twat to Freya, and I remembered the license plate from when Mordred picked Freya up because I thought that he might be a twat then and I wanted to be able to call the met if Freya wasn’t back within a decent time. And then when he ended up being a twat a few weeks later I had Gwaine use his connections, he is a firefighter and knows quite a few detectives, to look up the address for the license plate, which is possibly illegal but, still. And well, the rest you know.” 

Arthur blinked, but this time he did not close his eyes, and instead stared at Merlin’s face, particularly his mesmerizingly sharp cheekbones. And for a second he let his mind wander and consider if maybe Merlin was a model for a living, or if he ever considered modeling for a living. He could imagine that with his distinctive sharp yet almost delicately pretty features he would be a huge success. Then again, Arthur had a limited knowledge of the modeling profession, or Merlin’s actual profession for that matter. 

“Please tell me you don’t think I am crazy. I normally wouldn’t mind, only you are devastatingly gorgeous and you have an arse to die for, and clearly you have a sense of humor, and not to mention…my cock is already out…” 

Arthur couldn’t prevent the laugh from escaping so he grabbed Merlin and pulled him close, while also laughing in his face. “I can’t tell you that I don’t think you are crazy. I think you are a barmy lunatic, but for some reason I actually am finding it quite endearing, God help me.” Arthur kissed Merlin briefly, letting his tongue run across his lush lower lip. 

He also let his hand slowly trail across Merlin’s cock, which was hard and pressing up against Arthur’s hip. Merlin made a strangled noise and Arthur reveled in it, happy to be in control for once around this slightly mad whirlwind of a man. 

Arthur would love to say that he and Merlin spent the next two hours having passionate sex all over his flat. But, unlike in romantic movies or television shows, it happened within ten frantic minutes. Then again, most couples in those movies and shows didn’t meet when one half of the couple decided to pee on the other’s car, so Arthur didn’t really dwell on it. 

Instead, he basked in the present heady moment with this strange new enticing man. 

Arthur twisted and jerked his hand, responding to Merlin’s vocal cues, as their mouths clashed together, lips, tongues and teeth fighting for dominance. 

It was messy and it was rough, but also intimate and exciting. Merlin didn’t last very long, and after he came, with a choked gasp of Arthur’s name on his lips, he reached down to find that Arthur had come in his shorts like a teenager. 

And instead of embarrassment they laughed and cleaned each other up. They then tumbled into bed for a nap with plans to get brunch afterwards. 

Arthur blinked, closing his eyes and counting to thirty. He opened his eyes and saw Merlin, his head resting besides Arthur’s and his arms and legs sprawled out over him. He smiled, closing his eyes again, content.


	2. The New Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin's first revenge attempt didn't go as planned, so Arthur helps him with his second attempt. 
> 
> Or the one where they end up stuck in a cupboard and Arthur becomes overwhelmed by feelings.

“Oi watch out- Arthur- don’t put your-ugh just let me get by the door-“

“Merlin-shut up.” 

Merlin huffed, twisting his body, trying to push in front of Arthur. Arthur grunted as Merlin elbowed him in the stomach. 

“Get your lanky octopus limbs off of me.”

“That’s not what you said last night.”

“Well last night I wasn’t trapped in a bloody cupboard with you.” 

“But you were trapped in me.” 

Arthur closed his eyes, tilting his head back against the clothes hanging behind him. “You really make me question my judgment.” Arthur murmured as Merlin wiggled, trying to peer through the slight gap between the two doors. Even in the confined space Merlin was able to twist his head towards Arthur, smiling widely, not that Arthur was really able to see him, but that smile was hard to miss, even in the dark. 

“Now quiet Arthur, this is supposed to be a stealth mission after all.” Arthur nearly gasped, as if he was the one lacking in stealth. Merlin was the one flailing around like a fish out of water. And besides, it was actually Arthur’s idea to come here in the first place. Not that he was expecting to have to hide in a cupboard. Then again, he had learned to not expect anything when dealing with Merlin. 

“Shh, shh.” Merlin hissed, throwing his hand back and smacking Arthur in the face. Arthur simply rolled his eyes, pushing Merlin’s hand from his face. He couldn’t see what was going on but he could hear footsteps, indicating someone, most likely Mordred, was walking around the room. 

Even though Arthur wasn’t particularly scared or worried about being discovered, Mordred was his cousin- it wasn’t like he would call the Met simply because he caught Arthur and his barmy….boyfriend? Oh God was Merlin his boyfriend? His train of thought was derailed at that. 

Sure, they had been spending an absurd amount of time together, almost unhealthy actually, according to Merlin’s friend Will, who loudly grumbled whenever Arthur came to Merlin’s flat. Then again, Will tended to really only loudly grumble about things, from what Arthur had seen, even though Merlin swears that he is one of the funniest blokes. 

And sure, maybe they had been inseparable, but it was only because they couldn’t seem to get enough of each other, and quite frankly Arthur didn’t see the point in spending time away from Merlin when he had such a fantastic time with him. 

And even though they alternated staying at the other’s flat, and cooked for each other, and discussed (complained) about their jobs, and read quietly together in front of Arthur’s fireplace, and had a healthy sex life, they hadn’t gotten around to labeling anything. They just kind of were. 

And it hadn’t bothered Arthur before, but now, trapped in this cupboard, his heart began to race and his mind was spinning at the desire to lay claim to what was going on between them. Suddenly labeling it seemed the only way to confirm that it was real, that Merlin was really invested in this…thing as Arthur was. 

That maybe Merlin was as in love with Arthur as he was hopelessly in love with the foolish git who believed peeing on cars was normal behavior. 

The words were suddenly fighting to escape Arthur’s throat and he bit his lip, trying not to ruin any possible romantic declaration by blurting out his love for Merlin while they were hiding in his cousin’s cupboard, a bag of fish and chicken guts at their feet. 

Which really, Arthur should be questioning his judgment at picking Merlin. 

And even though now was most certainly not the right time for any confessions or declarations, Arthur’s brain refused to just leave this life-altering epiphany alone and he found himself blurting out- “Are we boyfriends?” in a whisper yell at Merlin. 

Arthur could see Merlin tense up, could hear his breath hitch, whether in surprise, disgust or amusement, he had no idea. His skin began to feel hot as embarrassment flooded him. Why oh why did he pick this moment to ask something like this? It wasn’t even like Merlin could respond, Arthur shouldn’t have even spoke to begin with, they really should be remaining quiet lest Mordred discover them. 

And now they would have to remain in this tense, awkward silence until Mordred left and they could safely sneak out of the cupboard without being caught. Arthur almost groaned, it could take Mordred hours to leave the house. Hell, it could be the whole day, Arthur didn’t pay attention to his schedule, he couldn’t even say with certainty what it was that Mordred did for a living. Most likely something sniveling and evil. 

He heard a door click and then the sound of a key turning a deadbolt before silence rang out throughout the house. He heard Merlin release a breath before quickly spinning, his long arms smacking Arthur in the face as he turned, making Arthur splutter and try to push him away. 

Merlin was having none of it and instead wrapped his Octopus arms around Arthur, his hands resting on either side of Arthur’s neck. Arthur held his breath; at this proximity he could see what little light was sneaking in through the crack reflected in Merlin’s eyes. Eyes which looked oddly….gold? 

Arthur blinked but when he opened his eyes Merlin’s had lost any gold and Arthur chalked it up to a trick of the light and too much time spent trapped in the cupboard. 

“Arthur.” Merlin said, for once his voice deadly serious. Arthur straightened up, tensing and prepared for Merlin’s rejection. Although if Merlin rejected him now, there really was no need for him to wrap himself around Arthur as if he was about to pull him into a passionate embrace. 

“Merlin.” Arthur choked out, voice raising at the end as if he was asking merlin a question. As if he was uncertain about Merlin, which he was. He, confident and self assured Arthur Pendragon was suddenly nervously sweating over the thought that Merlin Emrys might not be as crazy about him as he was about Merlin. 

“Arthur. WE have spent the past two months consistently in each other’s presence. We have fucked in more ways and positions than I even thought possible, a feat which is very impressive considering the amount of Internet porn I watched growing up. We cuddle on the weekends, we went grocery shopping the other day, and a week ago you bought me socks. Socks Arthur. And you have the audacity to ask me if we are boyfriends?” 

Arthur didn’t know if he should be amused, relieved or even more anxious at the end of Merlin’s little speech. Was Merlin confirming they were boyfriends, or was he saying Arthur was stupid for even implying that they were in a relationship. 

“I, well, I just wanted to know what you uh…” Arthur thanked heavens for small miracles, at least Merlin couldn’t see how red he was turning, his mortification at his inability to speak shining through his cheeks. “I just wanted to know where we stand with each other.” He pathetically tried to explain. 

Merlin let out a small incredulous laugh, his breath hitting Arthur in the face. “And you think I’m the idiot. Really Arthur.”

“Wha-“ but Merlin had already pulled his face towards him, licking in to his mouth happily. Arthur decided to not be insulted that Merlin thought him an idiot, and instead reveled in Merlin’s mouth. 

Merlin pulled back for a moment. “Arthur, just because I am afraid that you really are this thick, of course we are boyfriends, you daft sod.” Merlin breathed out another laugh, kissing Arthur again before pulling back. “Do you think I would pass up the chance to wife up the man who not only decided to forgive me for peeing on his car, but repaid me by blowing my mind on a daily basis, and then coming up with a revenge plan that makes all of my ideas seem pathetic?” 

Arthur blinked, admittedly dazed by Merlin’s confession, and even more so ecstatic that Merlin apparently felt the same way about him. He smiled slowly, his eyes drooping as the tension left him. “Now- enough about that- lets go exact this revenge!” Merlin cried, too loud for the enclosed space, making Arthur wince. 

He rolled his eyes as he followed Merlin- no-his boyfriend- out of the cupboard, blinking rapidly at the harsh afternoon light shining through the windows. Arthur grabbed the bag containing the chicken and fish guts and passed it to Merlin, who had already taken the initiative to hop on to Mordred’s outlandish Mahogany monstrosity of a desk. 

Merlin smirked, humming the Mission Impossible theme song as he began unscrewing the front of the air conditioning vent that was located at the upper part of the wall, close to the ceiling. Arthur had thought of the idea one day, after listening to Merlin and Will rant and grumble over how Mordred occasionally texted Freya, still, and how Merlin had disappointedly never extracted his revenge. 

Although he would always turn to Arthur after complaining, shooting him a sultry glance and a wink, letting him know that even though he was upset that his revenge plan failed, he was pleased with the outcome anyway. 

Arthur agreed.

But he was slightly tired of listening to the two of them complain, so he suggested the idea, somewhat jokingly, somewhat seriously. Back when he was in university and in a fraternity, his brothers had been involved in a prank war with another organization on campus, and one of the more memorable pranks was when one of Arthur’s brothers began complaining of a rancid smell coming from his room. Eventually it permeated through the whole house and they had to have an exterminator and inspector come in to determine the cause. 

Apparently one of his brothers had “slept with the enemy” and while he was in the bathroom or otherwise occupied, the person had moved the ceiling tiles, stuck a dead fish and a few eggs in the ceiling, and then moved the tiles back. Eventually the source of the smell was eliminated and they were all able to move back into their house, but Arthur would never forget the eye-wateringly terrible smell and how it took months to fully get it out of the house. 

So he proposed they did the same to Mordred, and lucky for Merlin and Will, Arthur not only knew where Mordred lived, but had a key to his swanky townhouse- paid for by none other than Arthur’s father until Mordred turned twenty five and could collect his rather large inheritance. 

Merlin and Will had nearly salivated at the prospect of extracting revenge, and they spent the next week researching the smelliest species of fish and other edible creatures. 

Will had nearly thrown a fit when Merlin told him that he couldn’t come with them, that apparently Will was incapable of performing stealth missions, and nearly always broke something when they tried to sneak around growing up. “Seriously Arthur, I never even realized Mum and I owned so many breakable items until Will ended up breaking them throughout our attempts at rebellion.” 

Will eventually relented, glaring heavily at them as Merlin made Arthur wear all black, and put eyeliner on himself, throwing a beanie over his hair. Arthur had raised an appreciative eyebrow at the eyeliner but did not question it, even though he might not see how eyeliner helped one sneak around, if it made Merlin happy, who was he to judge?

Arthur didn’t want to spoil the mood by reminding Merlin that they had a key and dressing up in black was completely unnecessary, so he went with it. Of course, when they heard the key in the front door, after only being in the house for five minutes, they panicked and dove into the cupboard- Merlin pointing to their black clothes and how they blended into the dark. 

Arthur only felt fondness at Merlin’s smugness, and really what did that say about Arthur?

“Golden Dragon- hand me the package.”

Arthur rolled his eyes, “I’ll hand you a package alright.” He smirked, winking at Merlin and lifting the smelly bag into his hands. 

Merlin stuck his tongue out at him, grabbing the bag securely and stuffing it into the air vent. “This won’t start a fire or anything dangerous right?” Merlin asked, pausing with the vent cover in his hand. 

Arthur shrugged, he didn’t think so, which he told Merlin. Merlin mirrored his shrug and snapped the grate into place, screwing it tight and hopping down from the desk, landing in front of Arthur with an excited smile on his face. 

Arthur couldn’t help but be punched in the stomach by the sight of Merlin’s already captivating eyes, now even more prominent while outlined in deep black coal. His eyes must have shown his appreciation because Merlin smirked, licking his lips and sauntering up in to Arthur’s personal space. 

“You know, Golden Dragon-“ and really, why Merlin was insisting on using code names, Arthur again had no idea, a reoccurring theme with Merlin- “all of this sneaking around makes me want to bend you over this desk.”

Arthur’s breath hitched and he glanced at the desk, considering it. Unfortunately common sense kicked in. “Mordred would know, he’s probably already going to know that you were here based on the indentation from your shoe on his desk, or something.” 

Merlin glanced behind him, checking to see if his foot had indeed left some type of mark, it had not, which caused him to wiggle his eyebrows at Arthur and look pointedly at the desk. 

“No shot.” Arthur said, ignoring Merlin’s pout. “Now, lets get out of here before Mordred gets back, or worse, comes back with Morgana.” 

Merlin shrugged, looking around them to make sure there was no left over evidence and followed Arthur towards the door. “Why is Morgana coming worse?”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “Because she’s like a bloodhound, she would smell us out within a moment of entering. Trust me. Growing up she always knew when I was up to something- and of course she would hold it over me- and threaten to tell my father- she’s a menace.”

Merlin grimaced and looked covertly out the door as Arthur opened it. “I am glad I am an only child.” Merlin said before jumping into the shrubbery beside the door, rolling down the slight hill. Arthur closed his eyes; this was the man he decided to fall in love with. 

He closed and locked the door behind him, casually walking down the stairs and turning right, closing the front gate and walking down the sidewalk. He ignored the rustling leaves and strange noises, knowing that Merlin was living out his secret agent fantasies and letting him have his fun. 

And when he heard Merlin walk up to him, he simply moved his hand, grasping Merlin’s within his own, continuing to walk without hesitating. Merlin beamed at him, leaning over and kissing him on the cheek. “Mission accomplished Golden Dragon.”

Arthur squeezed his mad boyfriend’s hand tighter, “yes, it is.”


	3. The Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur knew it was inevitable that people (i.e. Morgana) would find out about his relationship, but never in his wildest dreams could he have imagined what actually happened after Merlin and Morgana's first meeting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story keeps growing and I should probably mark it as not-complete since I keep adding to it...but I make sure that each chapter doesn't have a cliff hanger or open ending so for now I am going to continue to mark it as complete. In case anyone was wondering :) Enjoy!

It was going to happen eventually. Arthur realized it was inevitable. Even though people always assumed Arthur was an idiot or a tad bit slow, he was not, nor was he delusional. He knew that with the amount of time he and Merlin spent together, practically attached at the hip, word of their relationship would spread, and eventually people would know that he had a boyfriend. 

As corny as it was, Arthur still couldn’t stop the twitch of his lips every time he thought of the word, boyfriend, and the fact that Merlin was his, that they were a unit. 

Not that that meant that he wanted to share it with the whole entire world, yet. Even if he knew it was inevitable. 

It started with Leon, who had, at this point, caught them in various states of undress seven times. Not that anyone was counting, except Leon who loudly grumbled at them each time it happened. Of course Merlin, being the cheeky bastard he is, had, at this point, invited Leon to join them seven times. Which, after the first time no longer made Arthur freeze up and stare at Merlin in shock, then at Leon-briefly consider it (who wouldn’t), and instead made him growl and huddle Merlin off to a somewhat secluded and private area to continue their activities. 

And really Leon’s continued grumblings about being forced to wait for them to finish, and couldn’t they pick a room that wasn’t his bedroom, and did they really have to be that loud, were completely unnecessary…and ignored. 

So, Leon knew. Which meant that soon enough Gwen knew. Because as much as Leon was loyal without a fault to Arthur, Gwen always knew when Leon was hiding something, or in this case, irritated about something. Although, Merlin didn’t understand why Leon was so perturbed by the free shows he kept getting, courtesy of Arthur and Merlin’s inability to keep their hands off of each other. To which Arthur explained that not everyone wanted to see them go at it, even if Merlin was drop dead sexy in the throes of passion. And that led to Arthur demonstrating his point by taking Merlin apart piece by piece while standing in front of the large mirror in Arthur’s dining room, and really was it such a shock Leon kept finding them going at it?

Arthur tended to get sidetracked a lot. But really, only since Merlin urinated his way into Arthur’s life. Before that he was incredibly organized and well-spoken. Really, it was all Merlin’s fault. 

But- it wasn’t exactly Merlin’s fault that Arthur was completely incapable of lying to Gwen, or keeping anything from her when she asked him how things were. Arthur found himself glaring at Leon who had the decency to look sheepish, “Sorry mate, but she asked me what was up and I told her to talk to you.”

And even if that was reasonable, Arthur still glared at him because if Gwen found out, it was only a matter of time before the she-devil knew. And Arthur knew that Gwen would know within moments, because Gwen was staring at him, so open and trusting, with her beautiful big brown eyes and Arthur just knew it was futile to resist. But really, how could Arthur deny it when she asked him so sweetly, “have you met someone Arthur?” in that genuinely interested tone that she had. It made him want to swing open his arms and sing to her about his fondness for Merlin while dancing with some woodland creatures. 

And if the circumstances were different and Arthur didn’t have the family he did, maybe he would have bust out in a musical number, and maybe Gwen and Leon would harmonize with him. However, the circumstances were what they were and Arthur wanted to keep Merlin to himself for as long as possible. 

As such, Arthur would have loved to have told Gwen to fuck off, that it was none of her business, or that she shouldn’t care who he was fucking because it was just a fuck. And Arthur would have done that to anyone else who asked him, and yet, it was Gwen, and Arthur couldn’t do that to her, because as annoying as it was growing up, Arthur had never been able to lie to Gwen. 

And okay, Arthur may be a giant gay and loved cock, but he challenged someone to not have a crush on Gwen, it was impossible. A point proven true after Merlin met her for the first time, because of course Arthur caved and confessed to Gwen that, yes he had met someone, and she can absolutely meet him tonight. 

Once Gwen had left Arthur’s apartment Merlin had turned to him, somewhat alarmed expression on his face and told Arthur, “I don’t want you to feel threatened or offended…but I may be in love with Gwen.” Arthur could only nod seriously, completely understanding his plight. Together he helped Merlin get over his Gwen-induced straight crisis by initiating a competition over who could last longer while 69-ing. 

Arthur won. 

Barely. 

And really it was only because right before he was about to finish he gasped because Merlin swirled his tongue in that way that he knew drove Arthur mad, which caused Merlin’s dick to slide even deeper down Arthur’s throat. A strangled shout was the only warning Arthur received before Merlin came down his throat, quickly followed by Arthur coming, mostly on Merlin’s face since he had removed his mouth from Arthur’s cock to gasp in pleasure as he came. 

Of course because Merlin was insolent he refused to accept that Arthur had won, claiming that Arthur was only victorious because Merlin had been on top and “Gravity Arthur, it was gravity.” They agreed to best two out of three, which then evolved to first to one hundred. Not that they were counting. 

(They were- Arthur was up to twenty eight and Merlin was at sixteen, a fact that Merlin claimed was due to Arthur’s inability to NOT come in his pants like a teenager whenever he blew Merlin. It wasn’t Arthur’s fault that he loved Merlin’s cock and watching him unravel and the very act of swallowing Merlin’s cum normally made him shoot off. If anything, it was Merlin’s fault) 

ANYWAY. Once Gwen found out, Arthur knew it was only a matter of time. Not that Gwen, similar to Leon, would ever betray Arthur. But Gwen was cursed with the annoying, but mostly endearing, tendency to yammer on and talk in long sentences that were almost cringe-worthy when she was trying to keep something secret. It became even worse when she was talking to someone and knew something that she believed that person should know. 

So no, because Arthur wasn’t delusional, he wasn’t shocked to walk into his flat one day, not too long after Gwen had met Merlin, and find Morgana perched haughtily on the arm of his favorite leather chair. The same chair that he would often sit and read in, but mostly watch Merlin as he lounged naked on the fluffy rug in front of the fire, enticing Arthur to lunge and ravish him. 

Arthur glared at his sister, it was as if she purposely was trying to sully his fond memories of the chair by her mere presence. 

“Arthur.”

“Morgana..” Silence. Of course- because Morgana loved to be dramatic, loved to make everyone work for her time and attention. Everything was a giant production with her. She expected him to move the conversation along, as if she wasn’t the one who just waltzed into his home uninvited. And he didn’t even stop to consider how she had gotten in, because he sure as shit didn’t give her a key, but he stopped asking questions about the same time he stopped believing in the answers. 

He relented, “Couldn’t you have discussed whatever you came here to discuss at the office- you know the place we were together all day?” 

She clucked her tongue, a lovely habit she had. It made her sound like an angry chicken, not that he would say that to her, he wasn’t actually stupid. “Really Arthur, are you suggesting I would waste company time?” She raised her eyebrow, smiling condescendingly. “Is that what you were doing all day-while the rest of us are trying to earn a living and continue earning profits for Daddy Dearest’s legacy?”

Arthur resisted the urge to splutter indignantly, even though he really wanted to. The very idea that he didn’t work was so preposterous it was practically laughable. Which of course, is why Morgana said it- she knew it would make his hackles rise, and he would be easier to get information from if his blood was racing. Arthur knew her too well. She knew that he knew he plan too, judging by her smirk when Arthur ignored her attempted insult and instead asked her the reason for the impromptu visit. 

Not that he needed an explanation. He knew exactly why she was there, although some warning would have been nice. 

And as if by magic, Arthur heard his front door bang open and Leon’s voice carry through the apartment, “Arthur, Morgana is coming over, Gwen was-Oh, Morgana, hello.” Leon’s eyes were wide but he quickly tried to compose himself and look nonchalant. It didn’t work. Arthur sighed internally, at least he tried. 

“Leon.” Morgana acknowledged as Leon stood awkwardly in the doorway of Arthur’s living room. Morgana’s lips twitched into a smile even as her judgey eyebrow lifted and she gave Arthur an unimpressed look, as if it was Arthur who had asked his friends to warn him when his sister was coming over. Arthur had in fact had a deal with Leon that they would always warn each other of a potential visit from Morgana, not that Morgana needed to know that. 

“Hmm.” She hummed, crossing her legs, still annoyingly perched on his chair. He only had a slight impulse to push her and make her fall from it, and it was only a residual from their playground days…not that Arthur ever, had, would, or did physically push Morgana. Not that the same could be said for her, she used to be an absolute menace to him. 

“You ask me why I am here when you have poor Gwen positively fumbling over herself in her efforts to keep me in the dark. The poor lamb can barely get the simplest point across with all her unnecessary details and interludes- and now Leon is running in here in a poor attempt to warn you of my arrival. Do you have something to tell me Arthur?” Leon scrunched up his nose at the insult, but wisely kept quiet, he had grown up with Arthur and Morgana and was aware of how dangerous it was to get in the middle of them. 

Arthur imagined it couldn’t have been easily growing up next door to the Pendragons. Especially not after Morgana found out that she wasn’t just an orphan living with an old family friend, but an orphan who was living with her biological father, who had slept with her mother and then almost immediately afterwards met the love of his life and left her mother in the lurch, only supporting her financially until she met her new husband. 

Not to mention that she suddenly had a little brother, who received the brunt of her pre-teen angst and frustration. And Leon had been in the middle of it, being a year older than Morgana, and three years older than Arthur. It was made even worse when Leon began hanging around Arthur more than Morgana, who did not take kindly to being second place. Luckily it was around that time that Mordred came into the picture, fortunately he was not Uther’s offspring, and Morgana took to him instantly, finally leaving Arthur alone. 

Well, as alone as it was possible for her to do as a nosey, know-it-all big sister. 

But after all of their history, Leon knew how to handle the two of them when they were in this type of stare down. Anyone else would have surely made some type of excuse or simply ran from the room. 

Morgana continued to stare at Arthur, and he continued to stare right back at her bored yet defiant. If she thought she could come into his flat and out stubborn him, she was sorely mistaken. Nothing would deter Arthur from ensuring that Morgana did not pester him about Merlin, not yet anyway. He needed to protect Merlin from his psychotic and manipulative sister for at least a little bit longer. 

Merlin was an innocent and naïve soul, admittedly he was a little too eager to commit vandalism at the drop of a hat in the name of friendship, but still- Arthur wanted him to remain sheltered from Morgana’s plotting and scheming. 

He heard Leon shift from foot to foot, clearly even he was getting uncomfortable, but Arthur refused to relent. Not with this. 

The front door of the flat slammed open, again, and Arthur winced, really hoping that it was Gwen rushing in and not the only other person who had a key to his flat. But before he could open his mouth and shout out a warning Merlin’s voice rang out loudly throughout the flat;

“I have a fever and the only prescription is your cock in my mouth!” 

Arthur closed his eyes at Merlin’s horrible attempt at impersonating Christopher Walken, not wanting to see Morgana’s smug look. He heard Merlin’s steps falter as he entered the living room and saw all three of its occupants. “Oh. Well then….hello.” 

And Arthur could feel his heart practically squeeze at the embarrassed, yet mostly unapologetically amused tone of Merlin’s voice. His stomach clenched and he fought the urge to race across the room and bundle Merlin up in his arms and whisk him safely from his flat…after snogging him senseless of course. 

And so, in light of that sudden overwhelming desire, Arthur did the only rational thing he could think of, rounding on Leon, fire in his eyes as he bit out- “For the EIGHTH time Leon- Stop inviting your randy boyfriend to MY flat for sex! You even gave him a key- really man- have you no shame?” 

Arthur didn’t look at Merlin, just continued to glare at Leon and hope that Morgana bought this feeble attempt at diversion. “Why Leon- I had no idea you were a bisexual.” Morgana said sarcastically. 

Arthur took the time to shoot Leon a pleading glance while Morgana was staring at Leon, waiting for a response. And because Leon was such a devoted friend to Arthur he merely shrugged and did what he always did when Arthur got him into these situations, “what can I say- I love cock.” 

Which would have made Arthur laugh if Morgana hadn’t then turned her gaze to Merlin, clearly assessing him. “And this is Leon’s boyfriend, and not yours?” she asked, pointing to Arthur. 

Arthur scoffed, feigning insult as well as he possibly could. “Are you implying that HE is MY boyfriend? That is purely absurd- honestly Morgana,” and maybe he would have continued if he hadn’t let his eyes veer to Merlin and catch the confused and almost crushed expression on Merlin’s face. He looked as if he had been punched in the stomach and Arthur quickly shut his mouth as he registered the sadness in Merlin’s normally outrageously cheerful eyes. 

Any attempt at pulling the wool over Morgana’s eyes flew out the window. Arthur almost tripped himself in his haste to get to Merlin, quickly pulling him into his arms, ignoring Merlin’s tense posture and his obvious desire to NOT have Arthur touch him. And normally Arthur would be very careful about consent and not hugging people who did not want to be hugged, but he had just basically told his sister that implying that Merlin was his boyfriend was insulting and Merlin had believed him. 

The same Merlin who Arthur thought of when he woke up, who he thought of while he ate breakfast, throughout his whole entire day, who he raced home to every night, who made him beyond eager to do the simplest things if they meant he could spend time with Merlin. The same Merlin that drove him absolutely mad, who confused him with his idiosyncrasies and yet made his heart sore with blinding smiles and heartfelt discussions on a daily basis, thought Arthur was ashamed of him. 

The thought of Merlin ever thinking that Arthur was anything but ecstatic or proud to be his boyfriend made Arthur want to throw up and then do everything in his power to convince Merlin that there couldn’t be anything farther from the truth. 

So he wrapped his arms around Merlin’s tense body and whispered in his ear, “forgive me” both for his previous words and for the hell he was about to introduce into Merlin’s life. 

“Merlin is my boyfriend. And I quite fancy myself in love with him so you can go sod off if you have a problem with that. And if you don’t keep your comments to yourself I will have you removed from my flat.” 

For a miraculous moment Morgana looked stunned, which slowly morphed to a somewhat impressed, yet still smug, expression. “Well, well, well, Arthur. Good to see you actually do have balls.” She grimaced, realizing what she said, “for his sake.” She said quickly, nodding to Merlin. 

Arthur ignored her, glancing at Merlin and beyond relieved to see that although he still looked confused, the crushed, heartbreaking expression on his face was gone, and he had that impossibly wide and happy grin on his face. The one that made Arthur’s knees tingle in weird ways, that made his feet buzz and his shoulders sway, as if he might pass out. 

“Right- also, I don’t actually like cock. Besides my own.” Leon said.

“Obviously you don’t Leon.” Morgana said, not looking to him and simply waving a hand in his direction. “None of us bought that pathetic attempt at a ruse. Honestly Arthur, and you thought you could get into an acting career at one point, thank goodness father put an end to that eventual train wreck.” 

Arthur rolled his eyes, practically groaning as he saw Merlin’s eyes widen, and Arthur could already hear the twenty questions Merlin would throw at him about his short-lived acting career-Something that Arthur had wanted to take to the grave with him. Not that he was that bad, he actually could have made it if he wanted to, but he wasn’t interested in having pretend sex with so many different people. And he probably would have never met Merlin if he had continued with it, so really, he was glad it was short-lived. 

“Now, Arthur, Merlin,” which pulled Arthur out of his head and back to the situation unfolding in his living room, which consisted of Morgana straightening from her perch on Arthur’s chair and smoothing down her pencil skirt. “I will tell father to expect the both of you at Sunday brunch. No exceptions, you know how he hates to change the reservations. And he will be so thrilled to see you won’t be dying a lonely spinster Arthur.” 

And then she breezed out of the living room, leaving Arthur with no chance to argue with her. “Come Leon,” she barked out, causing Leon to shoot Arthur an exasperated look before shrugging and following Morgana like a scolded puppy. 

Arthur heard the door close and he braced himself, waiting a minute before he heard Morgana’s car start up, an absolutely unnecessary yet stunning Aston Martin Vantage. Once he heard it drive away he exhaled and chanced a look to Merlin, who was still half in Arthur’s arms, although at some point they had moved slightly apart from one another. 

Merlin was no longer smiling like a loon but he still looked happy, although he also had that look on his face that meant that Arthur was about to be bombarded so he mentally braced himself for the well-deserved barrage of questions. 

Merlin cocked his head to the side, quite like a curious puppy and really how was Arthur supposed to resist kissing his pouty lips when he looked so…cute?

After a few minutes of snogging, which Arthur briefly considered turning into more and distracting Merlin, Merlin wised up and took a step back. 

“Yes alright Mr.- enough of that before you turn my brain to mush.”

“Too late.” Arthur shot out before he could think about it, so used to bickering with Merlin that he forgot that he was still potentially in time out. 

Luckily Merlin simply stuck his tongue out before crossing his arms. “Right. So...” Merlin trailed off, biting his lip and staring at Arthur. Which was unnerving and enticing, all in one. 

Arthur wanted Merlin to yell at him quick, air all of his grievances so Arthur could make quick work of taking Merlin apart, kiss by kiss, and showing him exactly how sorry he was for ever making Merlin doubt his feelings. 

“You love me?” Merlin eventually said, voice breathless, as if he could barely get enough air to say the words. 

That made Arthur stop, and this time he was the one tilting his head like a curious puppy. He had expected questions, but mostly of the- why the fuck did you try to hide me from your sister- variety. 

“What?” Arthur asked, because yes, he was that smooth. 

Merlin licked his lips, suddenly looking unsure, and Arthur wished that he had just said yes, yes he did love Merlin, as if it wasn’t the most obvious thing in the universe. “Well, no pressure, I mean if you don’t- I am not saying you have to, or that I expect you to…uh…” Merlin trailed off, and Arthur wanted to cut in but Merlin continued on before he could, “Its just- you said before- to your sister, and I really hope that was your sister, because if that wasn’t your sister you have some explaining to do- not that you don’t have explaining to do already, because really! What was all that?” Merlin shouted at the end, arms flailing. 

Arthur narrowed his eyes, confused for a moment at the turn of conversation. “Um-“

Merlin held his hand out, “No! No, I got off track. You said that I was your boyfriend, that you loved me.” 

Arthur glanced to the side, was Merlin asking Arthur if he loved him, and was he imagining the slight accusatory tone in Merlin’s voice? Did Merlin not want him to love him? If that was the case then why would Merlin even stick with Arthur for this long? Or was Arthur reading too deep into this- which he often did. 

Normally he liked to analyze everything, consider all of his options and make educated decisions. But in this moment there was nothing to say to Merlin other than the honest truth. 

“Of course I love you Merlin. You drive me crazy and I wouldn’t have it any other way. If I didn’t think you would have me admitted I would get down on one knee right now, propose to you and then take us to the register immediately, get married and then borrow my father’s private jet and fly us to the nearest romantic, secluded island where we could spend the whole time racing each other to see who could get to 100 blow jobs first. And then I would relish in flying us back here where we can spend the rest of our lives together, peeing on the cars of the people who irritate us, and shoving smelly foods in my relative’s houses, and just being together. Because yes Merlin, I do quite love you. Wholeheartedly.” 

Arthur would love to say that Merlin instantly leaped on him and they engaged in wild, rambunctious and adventurous sex for hours after his little speech. 

However, as this was Merlin he was dealing with, and he couldn’t ever expect the norm, he was utterly blown away when Merlin dropped down to one knee, hand quickly grasping Arthur’s and blurting out- 

“Marry me?” 

And really- what could Arthur say- but yes- which he did- repeatedly, loudly and rapidly throughout the night. And if he was hoarse the next day, well, he felt he had a fairly good reason.


End file.
